At the risk of sounding too alarming, or even paranoid, I feel the need to let everyone know of a growing threat to our way of life. This threat has the potential to dominate every facet of our currently humanistic lives. I am calling everyone’s attention to the looming danger of robots!
Based on my recent observations, we seem to be just a few years away from surrendering many of our duties and responsibilities to robots. I’m no expert when it comes to robots, but I did see The Terminator, as well as 2001: A Space Odyssey, and so I feel more than qualified to sound a warning about the ominous development of such a robot invasion. These invaders are already capable of making quite an impact on our work, shopping, sports and political worlds.
I suggest we not be seduced by the efficiency that robots promise. Losing the humanistic soulful part of our daily lives — even with its many foibles — along with the increasing loss of human autonomy is sure to find us eventually living in a dystopia. I fear having to one day utter the words “Open the door, Hal,” and not getting a favorable response.
We are already witnessing the first step in the “robotization” of our society. I see this trend in the new kiosks that have been installed at local McDonalds. After all, a kiosk is merely a robot that can’t move. Yes, I realize there are benefits. Who wants to deal with a flawed human worker when you can place your order with a super-efficient kiosk? When you go to the local public library, don’t worry about a distracted library clerk checking out your book. No, you can have the mistake-free kiosk do it instead. When shopping for goods at Ralphs or Costco, you now have the self-checkout option in the form of an automated cash register/kiosk.
Of course, one day the choice will become mandatory. In fact, it’s only a matter of time before the majority of workers at restaurants and grocery stores will be replaced by upgraded mobile robots dashing around the store/restaurant to meet our every need. They will surely be programmed via artificial intelligence to have pleasant personalities capable of charming and encouraging us to tip, though we won’t have to tip robots because they have no need for money, at least not yet.
Let me tell you how strong this trend toward robotization has become. If you go today to eat a meal at Pho Ca Dao restaurant in Mission Valley, there is a possibility you will be served by an actual robot! I encourage you to pay a visit to Pho Ca Dao … once there you will not only get a great meal, but you will also be afforded the opportunity to take a glimpse into our future brave new world of robot workers. When I first ate at this restaurant, I naively thought the idea of robots waiters was a charming novelty. I didn’t fully grasp the disturbing, de-humanizing trend towards the robot dominance of our society, probably because these robots look goofy and not anything like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Some say this ever-increasing robotization process is inevitable. If so, I guess we could meekly roll over and focus on the bright side. Think about it this way — the San Diego Padres have gone through about 20 different batting coaches since Petco Park opened in 2002. Why not try a robot for this job? How much worse could it get? Furthermore, we could pick out two or three local politicians, then replace them with robots. Would a robot screw up the city budget or pass bad municipal laws? Maybe, but maybe not. Perhaps we should give political robots the benefit of the doubt for at least one term.
Speaking of politics, the MAGA-in-Chief recently dropped a big hint that he may be wise to the robot invasion. At a recent campaign rally near Dayton, Ohio, Donald Trump attempted to rile up his supporters by speaking about the evils of immigration. “I don’t know if you call them people,” he said at the rally. “In some cases they’re not people, in my opinion.” Critics assailed him for trying to de-humanize immigrants with an inane fascist-like declaration.
But did the critics miss the point? Could it be Trump was instead acknowledging that a percentage of the immigrant population is made up of foreign robots speaking languages no one has ever heard of? Should we credit Trump for slyly communicating the non-people robot threat via his usual robot dog-whistling technique? That might be too generous a move. Yet, the guy may be sharper than we think. Repeat after me…giraffe, tiger, whale, robot.
Okay, I know what you are thinking. The allure of a Padres World Series championship is too great to be denied. If a robot can improve our team’s hitting skills, many of you will readily give a thumbs-up to robotization and insist on hiring that soulless batting instructor, thus further solidifying robot domination. If so, I say fine.
Just don’t come running to me the next time you try ordering a Filet-o-Fish sandwich at McDonalds and the kiosk screen reads “Big Mac,” and you get irritated and re-order the Filet-o-Fish sandwich, and the kiosk screen subsequently reads “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Whether or not your name is Dave, it’s a good bet you are finally going to sense an impending doom.
Steve Rodriguez is a retired Marine Corps officer and high school teacher who last taught at Olympian High School in Chula Vista.