There was a trend on TikTok with a sound bite from the musical Gypsy Rose, sung by an LGBTQ+ actor from the TV show Glee. The trend is to lip sync to the lyrics “All that work and what did it get me? Why did I do it?” as a text box explains how you worked hard on something, and it doesn’t go as planned.
I made a video with that sound bite and wrote, “When you’ve worked in advocacy for almost 20 years, and LGBTQ+ kids are still getting killed. RIP Nex.”
Nex Benedict died at 16 years old. Nex was a nonbinary student who was severely assaulted in the girls’ bathroom at their school on Feb. 7 in Owasso, OK. Nex had experienced bullying from students due to their gender identity for more than a year before their death. Nex was assigned female at birth but presented as masculine, wearing clothes meant for boys and preferred using male pronouns.
Their mom picked them up and brought them to the hospital for evaluation and tried to see if they could press charges on their classmates. The officer they spoke to minimized the incident and even mentioned that Nex could be found liable for assaulting the bullies first after disclosing they splashed their attackers with water. After leaving the hospital, Nex was found by their mother dead in bed the following day.
This incident has sparked outrage among students, parents, and local officials. Owasso police and the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights have opened investigation. Still, many believe that this crime was a direct result of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and hate brought on by school officials.
According to the American Civil Liberties Union, state legislators have introduced 510 anti-LGBTQ+ bills, including 314 related to schools and education, 167 related to health care, 43 banning drag performances, 42 blocking civil rights, 16 on identification, 7 on public accommodations, and 47 other bills that affec LGBTQ+ Americans daily.
When it comes to San Diego, in a blue state, no one would expect leaders to put forward laws that bring harm to LGBTQ+ people, especially youth. But there are rabble-rousers who target safe spaces that support the LGBTQ+ community, making everyday life unsafe for both young people and adults. Institutions take down “Safe Space” posters, transgender people are villainized, schools erase LGBTQ+ history, and LGBTQ+ teens take their own lives as a result of continuous bullying.
What can we do as a community to help the Nex’s of the world to stay alive? Programs are now teaching leadership and civic engagement, arming advocates with information on how anti-LGBTQ+ laws are made and helping communities improve their standards. By learning about the system that is supposed to work for the people, we can elevate voices by creating plans with local leaders and addressing the issues plaguing our communities.
For example, under a program like San Diego County’s Resident Leadership Academy, anyone can be taught to develop community improvement projects. Allies can advocate for safer spaces, inclusive policies, and mental wellness training; educate the community on politics; stay informed on local laws; become familiar with the elected officials who serve their districts; and vote for those who support our causes.
If a program existed at Nex’s school that encouraged youth to become advocates in their community, Nex would have been able to fight on another level. Nex would have been inspired to become a leader and make things safer for LGBTQ+ and all communities.
This article should have been about how youth like Nex are the hope for our future. Unfortunately, we will never know.
Marcus Fisher is a youth coordinator assistant for the Institute for Public Strategies.
