I admit it: I’m a serial misplacer.
I’ve lost my car keys more times that I can remember. If I had a dollar for every time a server ran after me with the credit card I’d left behind, I’d be debt-free.
After repeatedly misplacing my wallet, I adopted a loss-avoidant hack by putting my driver’s license and one credit card in my pants’ pocket. Then I kept forgetting to remove them before putting my pants in the laundry hamper. (Lesson learned: The “tap-to-pay” function on your credit card won’t work after you wash it. But the security chip still functions.)
A friend suggested an iPhone sleeve to hold my driver’s license and credit card. That also worked. Until it didn’t.
I recently took an Uber from my mom’s San Francisco apartment to the SF airport for my flight home. The Tesla driver and I shared our interest in EVs. At one point, I silenced a call and tossed my iPhone on the seat next to me.
We said our good-byes, he drove off, and two minutes later, I was fruitlessly searching my pockets and backpack for my phone.
Luckily, I had my laptop. I used the “Find Me” feature to ring the phone, which was now headed back to the city. No answer.
OK, I thought, I’ll access my Uber account on my laptop and message the driver. Then I hit my first hurdle: You can’t access your Uber account without logging in.
To log in, you need more than your name, email, phone number, address, last four digits of your social security, or any of the usual security checks we’ve all memorized. For Uber, you need the first six digits of the “credit card on file”. But I’d lost that card more than a year ago, and now use PayPal for my Uber rides.
I did find a “chat” function for Uber customer service — but you have to log in to use it.
No need to panic, I told myself. My return flight was still an hour away so I’ll borrow a stranger’s phone and call Uber customer service.
But Uber does not have a customer service phone line. There would be no help without first accessing my account, which of course required the unknown digits of my long-lost credit card.
So I focused on catching my flight back to San Diego. There was no line at the TSA checkpoint, but that only meant I didn’t have to wait to hear the bad news.
My boarding pass was downloaded to my missing phone, and I didn’t print a hard copy. The TSA agent suggested I get a duplicate boarding pass from the Southwest kiosk. But I didn’t know my confirmation number (also stored in my phone). So I waited for a ticket agent who confirmed my identity with a few questions and printed my boarding pass.
With 30 minutes until departure, I sprinted back to the TSA checkpoint, where the agent asked me for any alternative forms of ID: a library card (no), a prescription medicine bottle with my name on it (no), a check with my name and address (no).
The agent called her supervisor, who patched me through to a TSA office that helps ID-less passengers. Then I got more bad news.
It might take 15 minutes to confirm that I wasn’t a terrorist. But it might take longer. If I missed my flight, I couldn’t repeat that ID verification for another 24 hours. So I’d have to delay my flight to the following afternoon. I had visions of spending a very restless night on a chair in the Southwest terminal.
But the TSA agent wisely suggested I rebook my flight for later that night and return to the checkpoint with plenty of time to verify my identity.
Even more bad news. My now-departed 6:00 p.m. flight was Southwest last for the evening to San Diego. So I booked a 7:45 pm United flight for $304, emailed my wife on my laptop, and ran from one end to the other of the sprawling S.F. airport.
Finally, the chips fell in my favor. A very helpful TSA supervisor patched me through to TSA-central, which confirmed my identity. Following a very thorough search, the supervisor ushered me through the checkpoint. I had dinner (and a drink) and boarded my flight.
Once home, I accessed my Uber account by changing the phone number on my account to my wife’s. I then used her cell phone to confirm the change and changed it back to my number.
It took two days (and $70) for the Uber driver to deliver my phone to my mom, who mailed it back to me. Meanwhile, I lost my $125 Southwest flight credit because amidst all that turmoil, I forgot to cancel my 6 pm flight.
Next time I travel, I’ll rent a car. It can’t cost $500 for the day, and it will be much easier to retrieve anything I will inevitably leave behind.
Paul Krueger is a retired journalist and Talmadge resident.
