The holidays are difficult for many people in recovery, especially those who have recently gotten sober like me. There are many challenges in the holiday season: friends and family gather to celebrate over a few drinks, stress levels are high, and tension between family members can easily boil over into fights.
Without preparation, this can spell disaster for a person’s sobriety. Here are some tips that helped me through my first holiday season in recovery.
Have Someone You Can Call
Having someone I could call if I felt overwhelmed was crucial. For me, this was my Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor. Just knowing that I could get help from someone who was not only supportive but understood what I was going through was like wearing a layer of armor.
While my family supports my sobriety, there are some unique aspects of addiction I know they will never be able to truly relate to and understand. That’s why having someone you can call who has experienced the same things you’ve gone through is so important.
While working the program, I’ve been on both sides of this call.
A while ago, one of my close friends in recovery called me for support. He was at the airport during a layover. Before sobriety, layovers meant time spent at the airport bar, drinking without regard to the time. Now in recovery, my friend had several hours to sit in that environment, seeing crowds of people chatting with strangers over beers, and it triggered some powerful cravings.
Fortunately, I was able to successfully talk my friend through it, just as my friends and sponsor have done for me. The value of having someone that can guide you through these experiences can’t be overstated.
‘Play it Forward’ with Cravings
There are many things you learn in treatment and mutual support groups that help you overcome cravings. One such method I’ve found extremely valuable — both as someone in recovery and as a sponsor to others — is something I learned in AA called “playing it forward.”
Playing it forward involves imagining the consequences of having that drink when you start to crave it. Ask yourself:
- How would it impact me?
- How would it impact my family?
- What would it mean for the life I’ve rebuilt in recovery?
Asking these questions and answering them honestly has proved invaluable to me and the people I’ve sponsored.
Continue Things That Help You Stay Sober
Consistency is important, especially in early recovery. The things that helped you get sober can help you stay on a positive trajectory if you continue to do them.
For me, this meant keeping up my attendance at AA meetings and staying in close contact with my sponsor and group of friends in recovery. AA meetings aren’t just for the newly sober; they can help you for a lifetime, and they are almost always accessible wherever you are. If you are traveling for the holidays, attending AA meetings over Zoom calls is often an option.
It’s important to remember that recovery is not a destination, but a journey. The best way to ensure we stay on the right path this is through consistency.
Have an Exit Strategy
Certain social events, like basketball games, family outings, or dinners with friends, may contain relapse cues (i.e., people, places, or things that trigger uncontrollable cravings). I always try and enter these situations with an exit plan, just in case.
On several occasions I communicated with my sponsor before going out to these types of events. I let him know that I might need to speak to him in a certain window of time, explain the situation and how I was feeling, and get advice on whether I should leave.
While I haven’t had to make that call in any of these situations so far, just being prepared significantly relieves my stress and allows me to better enjoy the events and the company of my family and friends. Just the act of mentally preparing yourself for these situations and telling yourself it’s OK to leave is a great help.
Build a Solid Foundation for Recovery
Lastly, if you’re currently struggling in active addiction, know that your situation is not hopeless.
I was able to not only survive but enjoy my first holiday season sober because of the foundation that had been laid during my time in rehab and my continued involvement in AA. Treatment helped me develop a solid understanding of the things that might arise to threaten my sobriety and gave me the skillset to cope.
While I know additional challenges will present themselves, I’m confident I’ll be able to overcome them, and you can too.
Justin Davies is a digital project manager at American Addiction Centers.
