Dee Folse was in a restaurant earlier this year when he heard a stranger tell about his military service.
Folse did what he has done thousands of times: He offered the man a gift — a star from a U.S. flag.
And not just any flag, but one that for six months flew over gravesites of fallen service members at San Diego’s Miramar National Cemetery.
The veteran was touched by the star because his brother is buried there. The man and his brother served together in Afghanistan.
He returned from war. His brother didn’t.
It was a common interaction for Folse, who has distributed about 10,000 stars from flags that he decommissions for Miramar cemetery.
Folse and his wife, Leann, decommission flags that are removed and replaced twice a year from the 11-year-old Avenue of Flags at the cemetery. Fifty 5-by-8-foot flags are flown along with a large 20-by-30-foot one.
So he has at least 2,500 stars to prepare for distribution every six months.
The flag has special meaning to him every day, not only today, Flag Day.
The observance commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States on June 14, 1777, by resolution of the Second Continental Congress. The Flag Resolution stated: “that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new constellation.”
On Wednesday, Folse plans to take a bike ride and will leave a star at homes that have flags flying on his route.
In decommissioning, Folse first separates the blue field of stars from the red and white stripes. Then it no longer is officially an American flag.
He and his wife cut out the 50 stars and attach them to a blue card that reads on the back: “I am part of our American Flag that has flown over Miramar National Cemetery. I can no longer fly. The sun and wind caused me to become tattered and torn. Please carry me as a reminder that ‘You are not forgotten.’ Dee and Leann Folse.”
“And I actually love this because now these stars will never die,” Folse, 66, said at his Vista home.
“The selfish side is it gives me great pleasure and enables me to have an opening conversation with a bunch of veterans and show them respect and honor,” said Folse, who worked as an elevator troubleshooter for decades.
Folse is passionate about the flag itself.
“I don’t think really anything represents America more than that (flag),” he said.
He knows that not all Americans feel as strongly as he does about Old Glory, but “you know, whether you are proud of that flag or not, that flag stands for service and sacrifice.”
The reaction Folse receives often is tears or joy. Sometimes it turns into a lengthy conversation about fallen loved ones, the ones who are buried at Miramar cemetery or who plan to be buried there themselves.
“Sometimes when I present a star to somebody, that person gets choked up just because there’s just not many opportunities for people to actually have a part of an American flag in their hand. Like most have touched a flag, but nobody really has a part of a flag, right?”
Much of Folse’s journey has revolved around Honor Flight San Diego.
Folse accompanied a relative who served in World War II on the three-day trip Honor Flight San Diego to Washington, D.C., that honors veterans’ military service and takes them to military memorials.
Folse did not serve in the military, but got hooked and began volunteering with the organization.
Upon returning from one of the veteran trips, a woman at the airport homecoming celebration handed him a star. Intrigued, Folse asked about it and was told women with United Service Organization (USO) decommissioned and distributed stars.
Folse fell in love with the idea.
A little before 9/11 in 2001, Folse, an avid bicycle rider, began his journey to place flags on poles along hiking and biking trails in North County.
His routine is to take flag poles and a bucket with cement to the tops of hills. The bucket is then supported with nearby rocks and the flag is raised with a solar light to illuminate it.
He and his wife still maintain five of them but has put up about 20 in the areas for friends on their own property.
At the ones he maintains, he replaces them when needed and attaches a log book for passers-by to register their thoughts as they gaze at the beautiful views.
Folse said he was placed flags at San Elijo Lagoon Ecological Reserve, Fletcher Cove in Solana Beach, Lake Hodges near Escondido and on a hilltop near his home.
He has decommissioned retired flags from those sites.
Folse said the size of the flag plays a role in the lifespan of a flag.
“So the 3-by-5 flag takes 10 miles an hour wind for it to stand out straight and a little bit more for a 4-by-6.
The snapping of the bottom right corner of the flag in the wind begins the tear and deterioration of the flag. The larger the flag, the less it will wave.
He said he has concern when people fly flags from their trucks. He appreciates their patriotism but doesn’t like to see them shredded.
“Flags aren’t designed to go 60 miles an hour,” he said.
Holly Shaffner, vice chairman and director of public relations for Honor Flight San Diego, also provides public relations consultation for Miramar National Cemetery Support Foundation.
Shaffner showed Folse’s stars to Sallay Kim, president of the foundation. The foundation paid for the flagpoles and supplies the flags and contacted Folse about the decommissioning Miramar’s flags.
“It’s actually relaxing to me and incredibly meaningful,” said Folse, who was born in Louisiana and then grew up in Texas. Since these flags flew over Miramar, they flown for six months over our fallen over there. So I think that’s why it has such deep emotional tie.”
However, prior to the twice- or three-times-a-year Honor Flight San Diego flights, he has to pick up the pace – readying 500 stars for each flight.
Everyone on the trip receives one. Then he gives them out to other veterans he encounters at the memorials.
And he has sent hundreds of stars to a Purple Heart association in Nevada.
Folse believes the stars can hold as much meaning as interment flags given to family members at funerals. Some people have the stars sown on their clothing or carry them in their wallets.
Folse has no plans to stop giving his stars. When asked how long he would continue, he said: “forever.”
But he would like to work with Scouts to help them have an appreciation for the flag and flag etiquette.
The flag code has always called for flags to be respectfully discarded, preferably by burning them. That was when flags were made of cotton.
Many of today’s flags are made with chemical compounds that make the fumes from fire toxic to the environment. County libraries and Veterans of Foreign Wars chapters often accept worn flags.
He is disappointed when he talks to some people and find out they don’t even know how many stars are on a flag. He feels the more knowledge people have, the more they appreciate it.
“So it’s I think it’s (receiving a star) very cleansing for a lot of people,” he said. “and on the selfish side, I love to do it just because it can brighten somebody’s day or give them a deep moment of thought.”
