This is au revoir – goodbye until we meet again.
After three decades as president and CEO of Serving Seniors, I retired on May 8, exactly 30 years to the day of starting the professional journey of a lifetime. It was not, however, the trip envisioned when I graduated from San Diego State University with a journalism degree and a budding career in broadcasting.
But life’s zigs and zags pointed me into a calling that had meaning far beyond my daily tasks. Serving, advocating and speaking for seniors living in poverty has been humbling. To be frank, when I see the challenges that these good folks struggle with each day to survive, I am certain that I could not do it with their courage, grace and dignity.
But that reality is what compelled — and propelled — me to be a tenacious advocate on their behalf. That is also the reason that Serving Seniors’ logo features a heart and is core to our agency culture. Everyone on our team shares that same commitment to compassion, empathy and dedication to our mission: “Helping seniors in poverty live healthy and fulfilling lives.”
As a team, including amazing board members over the years, we have accomplished much in the last 30 years. We have grown from a fledgling agency into a preeminent pillar of service in San Diego. Our advocacy efforts have reached every level of government, including the White House, and influenced aging policy around the world. Our footprint is very large.
Of course, none of this would have been possible without enormous support from the community. I cannot begin to thank all our generous donors, elected officials, and community members who have always had Serving Seniors’ back, no matter what challenge we faced.
Over 30 years, I have met tens of thousands of seniors who have come through our doors. My mind races with faces as I write these words. But there are three who most influenced my philosophical approach — Marvel Farr, Ben Isip and Helen Smith.
Shortly after I started in 1995, Marvel, Ben and Helen came to see me early one Monday morning. They shared that two of our regular lunch participants had died, separately, over the weekend. Marvel asked if we could do a memorial in the dining room because neither had family and there would be no service otherwise. I said, of course, and that I would work on finding a minister to officiate.
Marvel said “No, we want you to conduct the service.” I politely said that I was not a minister but was happy to find one. She then literally grabbed the lapels of my jacket and inches from my face and said, “None of us are afraid to die, we’re afraid nobody will notice. You knew them.”
This was the proverbial two-by-four over the head. It had never occurred to me that a person could die without somebody noticing and caring. I did the memorial service, and have done many more, and made it my guiding principle to always notice seniors regardless of where they were in life or the challenges they faced.
I learned a few other leadership lessons over the years:
- Always treat folks with dignity and respect, even if they are being difficult because you don’t always know the adversity, challenges or demons in their lives.
- Set the course, teach your team how to navigate to the destination, provide all the tools and resources needed and, if necessary, help with course corrections if veering in the wrong direction.
- Trust that everyone on your team knows how to do their job better than you. Listen to their feedback because it just might help you do your job better. The goal is getting to the best solution, and it does not have to be yours.
- Be transparent and tell folks the truth, even if it is hard and not what they want to hear.
- Never compromise your integrity, principles or values for anybody or anything.
- Follow the Monday morning test. If you are not excited about the upcoming workweek, you are in the wrong spot and should find something else to do.
- Have fun and enjoy every minute of the journey.
Speaking of leadership, Serving Seniors could not be better positioned moving forward. Melinda Forstey is an outstanding choice as our new president and CEO. She has been with the organization for 16 years and in senior leadership for almost a decade. Melinda is smart, experienced and a veteran leader who will take the organization to even greater accomplishments. I leave knowing Serving Seniors is in extremely capable hands.
As for me, I am retiring from Serving Seniors but not as a community advocate. My plan is to do nonprofit consulting using my experience in strategic planning, operations and leadership. I will also look for special projects related to seniors, homelessness and affordable housing.
Personally, I will find time for more hiking, camping and international travel. I also plan to learn how to cook something more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches — my wife’s request.
Au Revoir.
Paul Downey retired May 8 as CEO of Serving Seniors, a San Diego-based nonprofit that helps seniors in poverty live healthy and fulfilling lives.
