Opinion: A Modest Proposal for Honoring The Casualties of Trump’s Trade War

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President Trump considers Americans harmed by the trade war to be patriots. Photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons

By Chris Jennewein

With a second round of tariffs against against Chinese products ready to go, and the Trump economic team working overtime to prove European auto imports are a threat to national security, it’s time to consider how to honor the casualties of the escalating trade war.

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No doubt the President has a sophisticated strategy for achieving victory, but all great battles take time. On Tuesday he advised Americans “it can’t go too quickly.”

So there will be casualties. In the great tradition of Jonathan Swift, here’s a modest proposal for honoring them:

  • Individual layoff, less than 3 months — A free Make America Great Again hat
  • Individual layoff, more than 3 months — A MAGA hat and embossed thank you card from President Trump
  • Retirement nest egg lost in stock market crash — An easy-to-read book with investment tips by presidential economics adviser Larry Kudlow
  • Family farm bankruptcy — An all-expense-paid trip for you and your family to a Trump rally
  • Small business bankruptcy, fewer than 50 employees — An all-expense-paid trip to a Trump rally with front-row seating and public praise by the President
  • Small business bankruptcy, more than 50 employees — Fly with Trump on Air Force One to a golfing weekend at Mar-a-Lago

As patriotic Americans, we know that our sacrifice will be recognized because the President has promised.

“Our farmers are great patriots. They understand that they’re doing this for the country. And we’ll make it up to them,” he promised in April.

And the chief strategist of the trade war, real estate economist and perennial San Diego political candidate Peter Navarro, has assured us that Trump will take care of us.

“President Trump will have the backs of all Americans who may be targeted by Chinese actions,” he said in June.

Onward in battle!

Widgets Magazine

Chris Jennewein is editor and publisher of Times of San Diego.

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